"Dont Sweat the Small Stuff" -Week 2

Well audience, I promised you a weekly mini-version of my own "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff". So here it is; week 2. I hope you were able to use last weeks points to better your life and perhaps make yourself a bit happier :)

Do Something Nice for Someone Else--and Don't Tell Anyone About It

Flashback to the days of your elementary self. You walk into the noisy lunchroom with your Scooby-Doo lunchbox. Frantically you zig zag through the tables to the get to where your friends in their leggings (with the straps under their feet) and jean jackets sit eating their Jiffy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (because this was before anyone had allergies--right?).  You plop down and hurriedly unzip (or flip up the metal lock if you had the metal lunchbox) your lunchbox to see what mom packed. There sitting on top of your lunch is a note from who else? Mommy Dearest of course. Well we all know how it goes, your younger self pushes the note to the side and reaches for your carrots sticks?! Okay Okay, realistically you reach for your pudding cup or Gushers. Mom's note sits stained with grape jelly and chocolate snack-pack, totally disregarded. 

Now flash to today. Picture yourself at lunch. You're either sitting in a noisy student union grabbing Subway before your next class, running down the street to Subway in the 20 minute slot work allots you for lunchtime, or getting a thing of Skittles from the vending machine because work doesn't allow you to take a break at all (this is illegal you must know ). Wouldn't you give anything at this lunchtime moment to be opening up a Scooby-Doo or Power Rangers lunchbox and find a note with X's and O's on it from your boyfriend, hubby, or children.. OR if you're really desperate.. you're roommate (cough cough Lauryn). 

Do you think Mom put that note in your lunchbox for just the hell of it? No silly. She did it not only to bring a smile to your face, but to secretly let you know that you bring a smile to her face. I think we all forget that it's these small gestures that not only get the individual we do it for through the day but ourselves. The happier you are and the more you smile, the more endorphins you release into your body. This in turn makes you a healthier individual. Happier=Healthier. Healthier=living longer. So stop thinking for yourself. The  next time you're in the bathroom leave a post-it note for your hubby that states how much you love him or how sexy you think he is, or tell your wife that she is a wonderful mother. 

OR let your roomie know he or she is the best ever!!

By keeping the fact that you did this to yourself, it will be done in pure selflessness versus when you go around telling people making it look like bragging. You don't need to brag about being a good person. If you truly are a good person, people will notice. No need to flaunt it. 

Let Others Have The Glory

It's easy to get caught up in the limelight of life. I mean who doesn't appreciate being the All Star player of the State Championships or scoring the winning goal for the end of the year game. However I believe that sometimes we forget the others involved in the "games of life" that helped get you to that All-Star status or assisted in the end of the year goal.  It's these smaller part people (as we assume they are) that truly should awarded the glory. I challenge you to this: the next time you're getting glorified by others, take a look around you and see was your wing man during the ride. Then I want you to transfer all your glory to those right hand men or women involved

Learn to Live in the Present

My roommate asks me at least once or twice a week how I can be A-Okay with my ex boyfriend having a new girlfriend and be able to not hold a grudge against him for keeping me in a relationship of 5 years for nothing. There are a few things I tell her each time I answer her.
1. I was happy with my ex for those 5 years and wouldn't want to regret that happiness.
2. Regretting that happiness would in turn mean I regret the path that lead me to be the person I am today. The path that lead me to Hawaii and created the person I am today. A better person.
3. My ex tried his hardest to make me happy for those 5 years and became like family to me. I truly would want nothing more than happiness for my family.
4. Last but not least, living in the past and being unhappy about someone else's life is only going to bring me down, and well I don't want to be brought down.


So here's my advice. Let the past be the past. Stop letting the past control the present and possibly the future. If you continue to let the past rule your world you might miss out on what life is presenting you at this very moment. You may bypass that sexy man, that tried to look you in the eyes, but you miss it because you were too busy grumbling about something that happened a year ago. Be happy. Be present.

"Dont Sweat The Small Stuff" Week 1

For the past couple weeks I have been thinking to myself that I need to write a new post. However, telling myself to write a new post is a lot easier said than done. I had no idea what to write about. Do I write about my continuous happiness in Hawaii? Or my interesting scenarios that I've approached while back in Minnesota? Both I could do, but neither were what I wanted to write about. Then I discovered what I wanted to do.

While in Hawaii my sister began reading one of the books off of our classy (ply wood and cinder block made) bookshelves called "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson. Together we read the 100 points/passages of things that you shouldn't "sweat". So crowd.. this is my mini version of the book/lessons of my own on how not to sweat the small things in life. For the next couple weeks I will continuously post new lessons so keep an eye out!

1. Make Peace With Imperfection
I remember growing up as a little girl being told that I was a princess, or that I was pretty or beautiful. This idea then translated over to middle school and high school.. the idea that beauty is only held on the outside. Well FYI readers.. it's not. Beauty is held both inside and out. It is held in your imperfections, and your personal qualities. For example: In Minnesota I would be considered extremely short and out of the norm compared to the towering giants of the Midwest, but in Hawaii I blend in well and (no offense to my taller roommate but she knows) being taller is sometimes looked at as "strange". It also goes along with the idea that being big (besides for health reasons) is disgusting or ugly. In the Hawaiian culture, being a larger man or woman is looked upon as a beauty; something they stride for. Here's a piece of advice. Go find a full length mirror and instead of grabbing your love handles or wiggling the "fat flag" under your arm find something that you love and compliment yourself. Mine might be: Wow Jenna you have great legs or beautiful freckles.
Whatever it is for your, find it, love it, and appreciate it because it's what makes you...well YOU. And YOU are beautiful.. no matter what anyone else says.

2. Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can't Be Superachievers
Many of my readers know me on a personal level and for those of you who don't you still know some of my outstanding traits that I hold. One of them, well at least before I moved, was being organized, a bit on the OCD side and well uptight if I must say it. Good thing I moved to the most relaxed state in the U.S. of A. I mean truly~ there's a reason for the term "Hawaiian Time". Living in this great state has made me realize that not everything has to be scheduled and run smoothly. Life is the funnest when there are bumps and no schedule to adhere to. I am one of the few lucky "overachievers" who was able to pull herself out of her comfort OCD zone and be thrown into an opposite atmosphere. By stepping out of this zone and stepping into a relaxed state and more gentle rather than uptight, I have discovered that even though I'm not as organized and staying on a strict schedule, I still have accomplished a lot, and MIGHT..MIGHT.. consider myself still a SUPERACHIEVER! Even though the things I have achieved may not end up in the newspaper or get me a pat on the back, they are personal achievements. Which in all reality are the best achievements... Right?
Sit down and think of one achievement you're proud of that didn't stress you out to reach. An achievement you are proud of that didn't take your whole day, week, life to accomplish.


3. Develop Your Compassion
We've all met this individual: Man in a gorgeous $2500 Valentino suit, with his Rolex watch, drives by in his Lexus IS 300 and you automatically think "Man that guy has a perfect life." However, when you follow that man home you see that he enters a darkly lit house, turns on the lights, and grabs himself a Jack on the rocks.. and sits alone. If you asked him how he liked his high earning job he would state that he hates it, and then would proceed to tell you in his drunken state that he once had dreams and aspirations to be a chef in a Pizzeria in New Jersey somewhere, and to have a huge Italian family. You look at this sad, pathetic, lonely man and wonder what happened. Yes, he may be able to buy whatever he wants, and has success to show for his hard working, but does he have a family or kids or that Pizzeria in New Jersey. Nope. You want to know what happened? He lost his compassion for those things to dollar signs. We see this happen everyday, and yet no one really tries to stop this viscous cycle. What happened to living life based off your compassions and feelings? What happened to following the love of your life because you don't want to know what life would be without her instead of staying because it's the "right" thing to do career-wise? What happened to trying and possibly failing to start up a restaurant because it's just what you want to do?
Do yourself a favor. Think of one thing that your compassionate about and make a pact to yourself that you will never let that compassion go (unless needed obviously).



I know some of my audience members that read my blog, and I love you very much, but along with myself,need to try to abide by the points stated above. If I've learned anything from moving to Hawaii it's that life is short and that it's better to be optimistic and happy rather than pessimistic and upset. Let go of the petty things in life and enjoy what the world has to offer.  (And believe me there is much to be offered)

Aloha Friends and Family,
Jenna